rockunroll

one of my favorite students OF ALL TIME is moving to chicago. this breaks my heart in so many ways and makes me realize i'm going to have a really difficult time leaving this group of kids... more so than any group. i see my old students in the hall and i'll give them a hug or a high-five and move on not really thinking twice... but this group is totally different. i moved up with all of them from kindergarten so i've had an extra year to really bond with them. this particular student came a long way with me. when they put him in my class at the end of a horrible pre-k year i was BLESSED (literally.. his previous teacher blessed me) because he was such a "terror".. i won't lie.. the first couple of weeks he totally lived up to this label. i know exactly the moment when he changed for me. he was throwing a huge tantrum about not getting his way over something (throwing stuff and screaming) and i took him aside and told him he was being ridiculous.. i pointed out all of the other kids that also didn't get their way and how they weren't freaking out. he said he didn't care because he didn't think he was being ridiculous. i said really? and i showed him the exact face he was making. he was still really upset and i kept the ugly face he was making and i pointed out that when i was his age i was also an excellent face maker so this was going to take awhile. eventually he stopped making the face and started laughing. he and i have the exact same sense of humor (it's kind of freaky) he would get my sarcasm in kindergarten and dish it back. i love that. i can make a face over something and look at him with a lifted eyebrow and a tilted head and he can give me an approving nod and smirk.. at the end of last year he came and asked me if i would move up to the next grade with him and i told him i didn't know (which was eerie because i really wanted to move up with them and had already been told "probably not" by the principal) and he said "well, i asked my mom and she said it was ok!" later that summer when i was helping during registration his mom came up to me and asked me if i was staying in kindergarten. when i told her how i was actually going to move up with them she said "THANK GOD! aaron won't stop talking about it!" i almost teared up i thought that was so cute (he's so rough and tumble but seriously sweet and sensitive). on the first day of school he acted like it was no big deal until i told him how happy i was to have him in my class again and he gave me a great big hug (he gives me hugs so tight i seriously almost lose my breath)... so today when he told me he was leaving i couldn't help but get instantly sad. he made me pictures all day today and kept telling me i better not forget him (how could i?)

moments after I buried the kitten I saw fanclub run up to me... behind her were her two kittens!!!!!! so I buried a kitten and that's sad... but it isn't doña so that has made my day :)

I had an awful start to my day.

there's a streetcat that visits me from time to time I named fanclub because she almost always greets me when I get home from work. I always give her some food when I see her. about 2 months ago she had a litter of 2 kittens so I've been feeding them consistently for about 2 weeks (since I got back from the road trip). lately, they've been hanging out on the front porch (where I feed them) and playing and being cute. so I started to get a lil attached (I try not to get too attached because of their dangerous street lifestyle)... well, 3 days after I finally named one of them.. I found her dead on my back porch.. my dog, Cousteau, killed her.. her body wasn't mangled.. my teacher friends assured me my dog was probably just playing with her too rough.. i still feel terrible. I'm not mad at Cousteau.. I just feel like it was partially
my fault... they got too comfortable with the house that regularly feeds them and went into the backyard.. I haven't seen fanclub or the other kitten. I just know they aren't in my backyard. so basically my day sucked :(

R.I.P. doña